A rewarding trip

This weekend, Paul and I took a Friday evening through Wednesday night trek down to San Diego and back to find an apartment and for Paul to take a Math Placement Exam at UC San Diego. What a rewarding trip! We were both admittedly nervous and hesitant on our way down there because that far of a move is going to be difficult for us. I kept saying, "I really don't want to move here .... " I'll be honest, up until this weekend, I was still extremely regretful that we won't be going to UC Santa Barbara. Thankfully, we now both feel really good about the school, our new home, and new upcoming life down there. But let me start from the beginning:)

Everything "promising" we had found on Craigslist ended up being either in the ghetto of San Diego (Imperial Beach area for any of you who know San Diego at all), or ridiculously small for the price (I'm sorry, but 400 sq. ft. for $850 is not a good deal). We actually had one lady in Imperial Beach show us the apartment and then turn and say, "Look, I would love to rent to you. Renters like you are ideal. But I have to be honest, this is NOT the neighborhood for you."

So basically, I spent hours on Craigslist the night before just to have to throw away the whole list, which was extremely frustrating. It was also frustrating to us because we realized that our budget of less than $800 was extremely unrealistic unless we wanted to drive over an hour to school everyday (which would quickly be made up in gas money, anyway).

We sat in a yogurt shop we found (one of two we went to with free wi-fi this weekend! Gotta love it:) and scoured rent.com, mynewplace.com, Craigslist - you name it, we looked at it. We even drove around the streets and called random numbers on buildings and looked up complexes online that had looked decent from the street. Pretty much everything in decently safe areas was upwards of 11-1200 dollars, for still relatively small apartments (around 600 sq. ft.) We also began to be discouraged because it was Saturday evening, and most complexes aren't open on Sundays, which basically felt like we'd be wasting an entire day of searching.

The next day, we found a few places that were open and dropped by to see the apartments. We found a place near San Diego State (NOT UC San Diego, mind!) that looked promising. The drive would be about 25 minutes (even in traffic, which we checked Monday morning when we thought we were going to go through with it) but it was a really beautiful, well-kept complex, and ONLY 1000/mo. We also drove up to Escondido and looked at an equally beautiful place there that would be 950 ... but, as the manager there convinced us of, the drive to La Jolla would, in traffic, be upwards of an hour. 

We were also almost scammed. An unbelievable deal came up on Craigslist that morning for the most luxurious, beautiful apartment in La Jolla (studios there start at around 1500 usually). It was only 700 dollars and had a huge kitchen, huge living room, etc. etc.! ... And turned out to be someone in West Africa trying to scam us. Very disappointing, again. 

By that evening, we decided we'd give it a couple hours looking more on Monday, but that we were most likely going to go with the place near SDSU that we'd seen. When the drive, even during traffic, seemed really doable, we called the Complex and told them we'd be by with our deposit and credit check fee in a few hours.

After getting breakfast, getting lost in downtown San Diego, we finally found a branch of our bank around 1230. While in line, another complex called me back, but I turned down the $900, 430 sq. ft. place. As soon as I ended my call, a man turned around and said, "Excuse me, you're looking for a 1 bed, 1 bath? I own several buildings and have some rentals open if you're interested." Paul and I took his number and the addresses and prices and decided that we shouldn't leave any stone unturned. We went to look and decided the outside of the townhouse we were interested looked good, and so we called the man and asked him if he could come show it to us. He said he was at ATT getting a new phone and would we mind waiting a half an hour or so? Paul said that was fine ... but as about half an hour passed, I said, "Let's just go ... it's probably not going to work out anyway, and we've already got our money ready for the other place ... this is ridiculous."But Paul was insistent that we at least look.

I'm glad we did! The townhouse is a little more expensive than the place we were going to rent, but more utilities are paid, which evens up the cost right there. It's also in the heart of the social area of San Diego, in Hillcrest/Midtown area, where there are two of our favorite grocery stores, our bank, and basically any kind of food we could ever want, all within walking distance. We're also near Balboa Park, the San Diego Zoo, and (the best part, according to my family ;) within a 40 minute walk to Filippi's Pizza Grotto! The townhouse is, according to the current tenant, VERY quiet. He said he's never heard any of his neighbors, and it helps that the floor beneath our bedroom is our own living room. Our neighbors will be a med resident and a law student, so they are very quiet, if they're even home at all. We have two floors, and two balconies that overlook the city. The area is safe, and we even have an assigned, underground, gated parking space (which is especially comforting to us Modestans - this morning, about ten cars in our complex were broken into. Luckily, we were not, but we are looking forward to the added security!)

Possibly the best part of this townhouse is the UCSD shuttle that is only two blocks away. It is FREE for us as UCSD students, runs every twenty minutes, and will save us not only in gas, but $600 minimum on parking for a parking pass, and a lot of time we would have wasted looking for a parking space! We are very excited about our new home!

Paul's placement test was also rewarding. Because Paul hasn't taken math in about a year, we were both worried he wouldn't remember enough to be placed into pre-calculus, which would be his next course if he was staying at MJC... you'd think that since he finished the pre-requisite into pre-calc that UCSD would just accept that, but they still require the placement test. I read a book at the library while he took his test, and when he was finished, he said he thought he did well on the parts he could remember. He said he'd only done about 2/3 of the test but that he thought he'd gotten all of the ones he'd done, correct. I was happy for him and said it'd probably be fine. Since there are Calculus-ready questions on the test, too, then if he couldn't do those, it was fine and he'd get into pre-calculus.

We were finally able to see the results last night, and ... ! He was actually placed into either the lower level calculus (which is for certain majors) or the higher placed pre-calculus that goes into the higher calculus. At UCSD, there are two routes you can take. The lower level pre- and calculus classes, or the higher level of the same that are for different majors (such as chemistry, math majors, etc. I am so proud of him that he placed into a calculus course at all, when he should just be heading into pre-calculus! He will probably actually go the higher route either way, even if his major doesn't necessarily need it (although we're fairly sure he does since he is a bio-chem major) because you can't go wrong with the higher math class. Either way, like I said, I am very proud of him!

All in all, it was a very rewarding trip. As much frustration and worry and hesitancy that we felt, we are excited to start our new life down there. We plan to move the 28th of this month, and it is coming up fast! It's already August 5, so that is just barely three weeks away! Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us, and please continue to pray for us as we make this next HUGE step in our lives!

Plans

So we are currently unsure what to do with the future. For a while, we were thinking about moving to SLO in July... but then, we thought about the housing market and thought, "hey, we should buy a house while we can. Maybe we should save up and do that in October."

We were out taking a walk a few days ago, and Paul said something that made me laugh (and no offense to any of you who went to our local county college), "I think we should move. I mean, saying 'I got my sports medicine degree at Stan State' doesn't sound quite so good as, 'I got my sports med degree at Cal Poly.'"

So now we're thinking we might just do our best to save up money until we move in December. Also, supposedly it would be a lot harder to get federal funding for school if we owned a house...

We're just caught in what we should do because it seems like the housing market will never be better (for those of us who DON'T own houses) but, on the other hand, if we stay here and buy a house, what if we can't ever leave to go to a college with a good sports med program (I can get my English/Poli Sci degree anywhere, even online.) I mean, we considered the idea of buying a house then renting it out, but I've heard horror stories about doing that.

SO. I would like comments/opinions ... I mean, we have time, either way. We probably wouldn't make either decision until October/Decemberish. If we buy a house, it will be nearer to October; if we move, it will be in December.

If only we could buy a house in the SLO area....

My New Job

Coming back to California, I knew I had to get a job right away. The biggest red flag indicator of this need was the five dollar balance I had in my checking account. I have never had trouble finding a job, so as I started my search, I was confident I would get a job within the day or two.

I began applying everywhere. I applied at banks, Barnes and Noble, bike shops, sporting good stores, Hallmark, and schools for autistic children. Nothing sounded promising. Every store said, "We're hiring in a few weeks." But I need something now.

The next day, I got a blessed phone call from a store that sells educational supplies. However, when the owner came to the knowledge that I am getting married mid-December, she immediately told me that her business and my wedding just wouldn't mix. Dead end.

Nothing else came about. For a week and a half I kept calling back, going back in, being persistent. Every job that turned me away brought tears to my eyes. By this past weekend, I even stooped to applying at Target, although the irregular hours turned me away, but I was getting desperate.

I also just started asking everyone I know if they knew of anywhere I could get a job. Everyone drew blanks. That is, until Sunday.

A family that I had stayed with in April told me that friends of theirs were hiring -- for a Monday-Friday, 9-5 job. They called them for me, and the next day, the owners of DepoBook called me and scheduled an interview with me at noon that day. Two hours later, I had a job with DepoBook, a court reporting service.

I started my job on Wednesday, and I love it! I spend time taking online orders and making up invoices, and doing billing of the depositions to attorneys across the country. Plus it's full time, no nights, weekends, or holidays. I haven't done much clerical work except for my own reasons, but I am loving it so far. It is great to be out of food service and having a real job! It was also definitely beneficial to ask everyone I know about jobs. Networking is a key tool, and I am so grateful for this job!

Living to Be Positive... And Many Other Lessons I've Learned

I never realized a few years ago that my immune system would continue to deteriorate as it has the past few months. I've always been susceptible to colds easily, but I've never experienced the continual flow and severity of illnesses before. And through all of it, I feel as though I have a lot to complain about.

In October was the beginning of my long line of illnesses. I first went in to the doctor for this strange rash that appeared on my back -- that turned out to be shingles. Basically, a simple description of shingles is that it is the continuation of the chicken pox; the adult version. It attacks only one side of your body, because it is a nervous-system disease. It also only hits a few small points on your body. Sometimes people get the rash on their face, sometimes on their back, such as in my case. Along with the rash, fevers, chills, nausea, and extreme pain are effects of the disease as well. It usually lasts between 1-2 weeks, can reoccur at any time with too much stress, and is very debilitating. In my case, I had to be prescribed multiple antibiotics and anti-inflammatory pills, as well as Vicodin for the pain.

About three weeks later, shortly before Thanksgiving, I had a small bout of the flu. Nausea and pain accompanied this illness. Then, in early December, I had to make another visit to the doctor again and was told I had bronchitis.

I hoped that my sicknesses would finally take a rest as I came to school in January and was able to start getting more sleep, but, unfortunately, my body decided to take on another problem called insomnia. After about 2 weeks of almost completely sleepless nights (OTC sleep-aids were not helpful at all), I not only began to get sour throats and stuffy nose and ears, but depression began to be a problem as well. I went to a psychologist for tips on how to sleep better, and he suggested I talk to the doctor about a sleep medication and anti-depressant.

Around this same time, I became more ill from my menstrual cycle than I ever had before. I nearly passed out in the bathroom and was so nauseated that I threw up. Something had to be done for this as well, because I had to miss school the following day, and while I had had severe pains before, and nausea, it had never been so debilitating before.

Shortly after I was prescribed hormone pills, Ambien (sleep medication), and fluoxetine (anti-depressant), I came down with a sinus infection in mid-February. I was put on antibiotics once again, and had to miss work and school for about a week. A week after I was finished with my antibiotics and finally feeling somewhat hopeful that my illnesses really SHOULD be over with by now, I began to feel sick again. I was out with some friends when my throat started to hurt. I assumed it was only a little cold, but within three days, it turned into a very serious cough, and I went to the doctor, where I had a chest x-ray. I was told that I was getting pneumonia, but that I couldn't get prescribed antibiotics because I'd been on them so recently that I could get seriously ill and put in the hospital because of the overdose of antibiotics within such a short period of time. I was instead put on an inhaler and steroids.

After my pneumonia, about 6 weeks ago, I was doing a fast along with the rest of my ward, and got very ill. I am fairly sure we can label it a low-blood sugar, which basically means I most likely have hypoglycemia. Since then, I have been careful to eat small snacks every 2-4 hours, and I have felt a lot better. But when I do not eat for a while, the dizziness and nausea from a low-blood sugar returns.

But, the last six weeks have been pretty good. I've felt as though I'm finally getting better with the summer coming on. I've only had a few small colds or sore throats a few days at a time here and there, and some abdominal pain that is fairly bad, but I can usually push through; nothing that would stop me from going to school or work. At least, nothing until yesterday.

Two days ago, I had small cramps with the beginning of my period. However, I took some of the prescribed pain killers I have, and felt fine that night. Yesterday, when I woke up and went to school, I felt perfectly fine, and just took some tylenol with me in case I needed it later on in the day. Halfway through my first class, I began to feel a slight bit of pain, so I took two Tylenol and hoped it would be better after that. However, 5 minutes before my class ended, I began to feel incredibly nauseated and dizzy. I leaned to my friend in front of me and told her I was going to faint, and she said she'd help me get outside to get some fresh air. But in the time it took for that exchange, all of my energy drained and my vision began to get very blurry. By the time class ended 2 or 3 minutes later, my vision was completely black and I could not sit up straight. I was in severe pain.

I was rushed to the Student Health Center, where I was immediately put on an IV with pain medication and anti-nausea medication, along with a water drip to keep me hydrated. They also took a blood sample to test my blood count, which later came back completely normal.

The doctors suggested something I already had felt was possible: endometriosis. Endometriosis, simply put in my understanding, is an escape of the cells that line the uterus to other parts of your body. These are the cells that allow you to have your menstrual cycle, but when these cells are in other parts of your body, they can be dangerous and very painful. However, this actually occurs in most women, but when you have a strong immune system, your body fights the uterine cells with the white blood cells to keep them only where they are supposed to be. In someone with a poor immune system like mine, what happens is that you internally bleed in other areas of your body, such as in your intestines. This causes pain throughout the cycle throughout your intestines, bowels, lower back, and lower abdominal region. It also causes diarrhea and longer, heavier, very uncomfortable periods. Endometriosis has no cure, and usually progresses worse and worse throughout the years. My mom had it, and she told me that the only thing that helped hers get better was actually having her first child, my sister. Unfortunately, 30-40% of women with endometriosis are infertile, and the other 60-70% have a difficult time getting pregnant the first time.

Basically, I am worn out with this trial. It has been going far too long, in my opinion. As the days go by, I find myself more and more negative. But.... I've decided it's time to change that.

James 1:2-4 says, "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."

Count it all joy? How can I be expected to look at all of my illnesses and be joyful, when I honestly would rather wallow in sorrow? To be honest, I have been doing that for a while. But I've honestly come to the realization that I can learn so much from these experiences. There are going to be others that go through lesser, but also tougher, situations that I can give support to. What I've learned through these experiences is that, with my being positive, I am showing faith in God. I also will learn, through that positivity, how to empathize with many others, as Christ did. He is our ultimate comforter, and I am striving to be like Him, I can learn through these trials, that seem so great to me, but that are still so much lesser than what He went through for me.

However, I've also learned something else through these trials. Yesterday, I called Paul to talk to him about my endometriosis. I told him basically what it was, and as I began to cry, told him it might be possible that I'm infertile and may also eventually be in so much pain that I won't be able to work (which is a possibility depending on how quickly and how far my endometriosis progresses). Obviously, one of my feelings throughout my illnesses has been, "How can someone love me when I'm such a burden?" I don't think I would feel that way if it was in the reverse, but I suppose it's different when you are in that difficult role. I knew that he felt very emotional too (Paul is never afraid to cry with me if he feels the need to), but I could tell that he was trying to be strong for both of us. He told me these words, "Do you really think your illnesses could make me love you less? That I would walk away and leave you when I love you more than myself?" He later added when we were talking about the possibility of infertility, "I want to have kids with you, but if you can't, just being with you and having you as my wife will be the biggest blessing ever!"

We're trying to be optimistic though. We are hoping that, even if it's difficult, that we will still be able to have our own children. However, we've been talking about how, even if I can't get pregnant, or even if I do, we'd like to eventually adopt. ... And then I learned something else. We were talking about the progression of the pain of endometriosis, and how even now it is hard for me to hold a job; how will it be if I continue to get worse? (Sidenote: We talked about how I will be able to finish school, because that is something I can mainly do from home if needed.) I know that I said there is no cure for endometriosis, however, there... kind of is. A hysterectomy is basically the only option because, if you completely stop the production of those cells, they won't be escaping to the rest of your body anymore, right? Paul suggested that, if I am ever in that much pain, he would want to make it better for me by doing anything he could, and that we could get that surgery done.

But I suddenly saw a vision that I know could be lost forever. I know that Paul wasn't suggesting he didn't want to have children, but he wants so badly to make me comfortable. But I objected. I know that we have to try to have our own children. I want to have my own babies, my own flesh and blood. Having a hysterectomy is something I know we, especially I, would regret so much later on. We'd never know if we could have had our own children. The pain of my endometriosis will be worth it to hold my own child. Not that adoption is not an amazing, bonding experience. But I want my own child. I'm sure that's not really something I have to explain too much to other women (or really, even to Paul).

So I've basically learned that I need to be positive, have faith in God, and trust and see what happens. I've also learned that Paul loves me more than I could have ever imagined possible... and that it will be hard, but we will make it someday as a family... And if I am infertile, Paul and I will make it as our own little family as just me and him, or maybe someday with children we've been able to adopt from unfortunate situations.

Whatever happens, things will be all right. I may hit my negative points again, but there are so many amazing things I can learn, I hope that I'll never really give up.

Wedding Date and Website

Well, we've set a date! Check out our website for all the details:)

It's still in the works, so it may take some tweaking here and there in the future:)

A Few Things

I'm sure that it's well known, but I am engaged now! Paul and I have been trying to figure out exactly when to set the date, but we're a little stuck. Because of school starting soon after Christmas, and certain family members that won't be in California at the time we want to get married, we are considering having our wedding and reception different weeks. The direction we are kind of heading for now is our wedding being December 6, having our honeymoon the next week, then moving everything up to our new home in Idaho and getting settled there, then coming home for Christmas with our families and having our reception sometime within that time frame. That will take the stress off of us as school starts because we will already be settled in our new life together:)

My second semester has started this week. So far, I have really been enjoying most of my classes. I have to be honest, however, that my geography class, though easy, shall be the bane of my existence. I have never been subjected to anything more boring. However, the teacher seems very lenient, and the course itself isn't that hard...just, as I said, ridiculously boring. However, I so far LOVE my Creative Writing class. The first day, we received a taste of what the semester will be like as we were all asked to take a scrap of paper and write one line of poetry on it. Our teacher collected our words and then copied them all onto the computer screen and asked us to rearrange the random lines into a coherent and interesting poem. It was a wonderful and exciting exercise that has made the class seem great already.

Unfortunately, though Monday and Tuesday were warm and beautiful, the green grass reflecting the soft sunlight, today proved cold and gray, and as I was dismissed from my Eternal Marriage Prep class, I walked outside to find that it was... SNOWING! Shall I ever be granted a reprieve? While the snow did come later, this seemed to be the cause for the depressed and annoyed mood I felt this morning. How interesting it is that my mood be so affected by the sun! I've asked Paul already if it is possible for us to live somewhere warmer when we get married. I don't care where, as long as the sun shines a majority of days.

At any rate, this is a small and rather poorly detailed update on my life as it is today:)

I'm almost there!!

I am so excited to see the end of this semester! I have one final left, and only two of four of my regular classes on Thursday, since my psychology and American heritage classes have been canceled. So far, I have done well on my finals. My worst grade was a 88%... but I must admit that I did not study for my child development test, so I am glad I did as well as I did.

And after Thursday, here comes the sun! I cannot wait to be in beautiful, sunny, warm California! I'm not sure if I will even really need to bring a jacket with me, as the lows in California are higher than the highs in Rexburg!

I am also excited to know that I will have finished my first semester in college. I still can't believe that I am already here that I'm already so old. Sometimes, I still feel like the little girl who likes to play outside, and has never had a job, and whose biggest worry is if Erik will ever reciprocate her admirations. I still wonder at the way time quickly passes, and how I still never feel a day older, though more mature, as time progresses.

Well, I am off to my last class of my English class:( I am a bit sad about that, actually. I have thoroughly enjoyed both my class, and my teacher. The worst part is that she is sick tonight, and cannot even attend class. I will wish I had had the chance to say goodbye. Anyway, farewell, and see you all soon!

Immaturity and Direction

I know that the title of this does not seem to agree with itself, but the past few days have brought a few subjects to mind. In fact, the immaturity I speak of is not my own, but rather part of the psychotic personalities of two of my room mates.

At almost any private college, they have something similar to what we call the Honor Code at BYU-I. This includes not having boys in your bedroom or over past curfew, not wearing spaghetti straps on campus, etc. It also includes being active in whatever church you are a part of (there are non-members here who go to other churches), and quiet hours from 10pm to 8am.

Unfortunately, not everyone who is in a private school believes in the letter, let alone the spirit, of these rules. Four of us in our apartment, Emily, Courtney, Kat, and I, have had problems with two of our room mates, Amy and Kaycee, throughout the semester concerning the Honor Code. Several times, we have had to ask boys to leave when curfew is already past, and had to ask them to not sit in the girls' rooms and socialize, especially when they close the door. It also eventually got to the extreme of Amy's boyfriend spending the night and taking a shower in our bathroom.

Obviously we had reached a problem, and someone, we're actually not sure who, called the Student Honor Office on-campus, who then called each of us into their office for individual meetings.

Two nights ago, things escalated from bad to worse. Amy and Kaycee were obviously angry with us, although it isn't our fault that they broke the rules, and that we told the truth. However, they began doing immature things such as tearing off the paper Valentine's Day hearts Emily had put up on everyone's doors. They continued to rip them up and throw them in front of Emily's door. They also ruined the paper cranes that Courtney had made, throwing them on the kitchen floor.

Since curfew is at midnight, none of us really ever ask for the tv to be turned down, or voices to be lowered until after that time. So, because I'd been unable to go to sleep for the noise coming from Kaycee's room, I finally walked out of my bedroom and down the hall at 12:15 to ask her, Amy, and their friend (who was over past curfew), if they could please be a little more quiet. They all stared at me, then Kaycee very shortly said, "No. We're awake so too bad. Get over it."

I walked back to my bedroom in shock. I wondered if possibly her attitude had been an April Fool's Joke, but it turns out it wasn't. Over the next hour, their noise level increased, as another friend came over. They began fake screaming, laughing loudly, and yelling back and forth to one another over the extreme noise of the tv. I talked to one of my other room mates, and she told me I could call the R.A., which I did immediately. The R.A. said she couldn't really do anything, but that she would talk to them over the phone, and so I walked out to the living room and up to Kaycee. As I handed her my phone, she demanded, "What's this?" I told her it was our R.A., and she scornfully said, "Are you serious?"

I don't happen to know if the R.A. and Kaycee are good friends, but from what I overheard, they must be. Kaycee started laughing and saying how ridiculous it was, and how the R.A. didn't need to be sorry, and they'd see each other later. As the phone call finished, I walked up to Kaycee and held out my hand for my phone. She began yelling at me about how stupid I am and how I do this to them every night, and they aren't ever allowed to make noise if I don't want them to.

I must admit I began yelling back. I was incredibly angry. I told her that I have NOT said anything in the past two months, because I normally take sleeping pills and am knocked out whether there is light or sound. She proceeded to say, "Well shutup and go to your room! Put your stupid ear plugs in and shutup about it!"

I was afraid to leave my room the next morning, for fear of confrontation. I was so unhappy with the fact that I was made to feel so uncomfortable in my own home, that I carefully looked out of my room to make sure Kaycee and Amy were not awake yet, threw on some shoes, and ran down to the manager's office. I told them the entire story, but I'm not sure if they will do anything.

Thankfully, there are only 8 days left with these horrors. While I am on my way to California next Friday, they will be leaving my apartment and moving somewhere else. They may even be getting kicked out; I am not sure yet.

All of that said, there are a lot of people here that are really wonderful. My other room mates are really fun, and while of course they have their own faults, they tend to be more on the normal side of humanity. I suppose I just don't understand why people like Kaycee and Amy are at this school. Similarly, if I had gone to Master's or Biola as originally planned, I'm sure I would have found people there about whom I would have wondered the same things. I am sick of people saying that, "My parents made me come here." You are an adult, no one can force you to come to a school or institution that you disagree with. Stop blaming mommy and daddy, start paying for your own schooling, and go where you want to go. Just don't ruin it for the rest of us.

Anyway, that rant is over... for now.

So as I've continued to consider my major and direction in life, my room mate helped me come to a wonderful conclusion. I could be an English major, psych minor, still get my master's in counseling, and then have the freedom to choose between my two ideal jobs. It will take the same amount of time, have much interest for me, and will end in a wonderful conclusion. I have to be honest, I'm fairly excited about this course. I am glad to slowly be figuring out my wants as far as education go.

The snow is continuing to melt away, although the weather is still not up to par with my expectations of spring. Although temperatures are supposed to be in the high 40's today, it is currently 17 degrees. How I wish I could have seen spring in California. By the time I get there in mid-April (thankfully, coming so soon!), it will nearly be summer:)

Finals are beginning, and somehow I am not frightened. My English final was nearly a joke, no pun intended even though it was given on April Fool's Day. We were given the prompt, "What is one thing you have learned from this class that you believe has benefited you?" then told to write two pages, handwritten. I really believe that was the easiest final I have ever taken since junior high.

I have also rearranged my class schedule a little bit:
M: 1:15-2:45 Interpersonal Communications (3 credits)
T: 9-10 Trigonometry (2 credits)
10:15-11:15 Religion (2 credits)
11:30-1:oo Geography (3 credits)
3:15-4:15 Creative Writing (3 credits)

Wednesday and Thursday are the same as those days, although I also have a 1 credit Geography lab.

Also, yesterday I had an interview and was hired for a tutoring job on-campus for next semester. I am really excited, because the job allows you to make your own hours and it will be good experience for me if I do ever become a teacher. Also, the pay is fairly good for Idaho, at 7.50 an hour.

More exciting than all of that is that Paul found a very good job up here in Rexburg for the summer. He is going to be selling church DVDs through referrals, and can make up to 30k in 14 weeks! They also pay for his rent, and possibly even some of his gas money. I am so excited that he will be here this summer, as will Breanne.

Life is definitely looking a little more promising for the future:)

Consideration

It's cold today. The air is white with damp, cold fog. The ground is wet with melting snow, and the grass that is visible is brown and dead. The atmosphere is drab and the feeling disconcerting. Those who have not grown up with the sun, the sand, and the waves available in California don't understand their influence on my very existence, and the dramatic difference it makes in my mood and happiness.

I'm considering CalPoly San Luis Obispo again for school. I have another year and a half of general education requirements before I can transfer, but since I dislike Idaho so much and still love the idea of San Luis Obispo so much, I think the money would be worth it to me. Perhaps I could even stay home in California and go to junior college there starting in the fall. Perhaps I could go to junior college in San Luis after all, as I had planned before.

Whatever it is that I decide, I know that I like school, and I even like this particular college and atmosphere, but the weather and boring life of this state is pushing me away. I've decided I hate the cold; I hate the snow, and I hate winter. I am a California girl through and through, and I'm ready to go home.

The problem is finances. I don't know where I will live in California. I don't know how I'll pay rent or how I'll find a place to live. Idaho really is the ideal place for the middle-class student. But to me, it feels worth it to go into a little bit of debt to feel happier, more settled, and home.

I Miss California

I've posted this on my Facebook, but I thought I'd post it here again for those of you who aren't signed up for that site!

There are so many things I am starting to really miss about California. I never thought I'd miss my state, let alone my hometown, but I do. Every day as I'm walking through the snow, I ask myself, "Why would anyone want to live here?" Sure, it's not that bad but it's missing a lot...

*California has real produce! The apples are crunchy and juicy! The vegetables are fresh and from a nearby field, oftentimes. The strawberries are naturally red, and you can buy them at a roadside stand.

*Springtime in California! I miss it so much! I miss the smell in the air, the warmth in the air, and the general feeling I always get. I used to associate the sound of planes with sitting in the warm, spring sunshine, but this morning, I heard a plane and looked outside... to find that it had snowed.

*I miss the general acceptance of California; I miss people not staring just because you're wearing a style you like. Here in Idaho, it is generally acceptable to just stare at someone.

*Drivers are terrible here! Maybe not all of you, and that's not to say we're all amazing in California, but, generally speaking, people in Idaho not only drive really slow, but they don't know how to park. I miss the state of going at least 5-10 miles over the speed limit, and knowing how to park at the beach between two cars that are so close to each other that you have to crawl out of your own.

*Speaking of the beach, I miss knowing it's there! I can't just drive an hour to Santa Cruz to see the waves and sand. I'm landlocked... And also, California is amazing because you can go surfing in the morning, and snowboarding in the afternoon, in the same day if you wanted to.

*Snowboarding. I've heard the snow is great here in Idaho, and I complained often enough in California about the snow, but now... I'm cold so often that I don't even want to go snowboarding. I've been here nearly two months and I haven't even attempted to go; in California, I used to drive two hours to get somewhere to board at least three times a winter. Plus, you can go snowboarding in a thermal and a t-shirt in California... Here, I don't know how many layers I'd have to wear because I'm not sure if I'd get too hot, or if I'd be too cold...

*I miss the trees in my hometown! R* is sparse. The trees we do have aren't very pretty, and they're rare.

*I also miss the Mexican food! I work at a Mexican restaurant, but it's just not California-Mexican. For one thing, you don't go to a nice (non-fast food restaurant) in California and get ground beef on your taco or burrito. That's just... lame. And not Mexican. I've also had people ask me what a quesadilla is! I was hoping she was joking, but when she asked me again, and then another person asked me a few days later, I realized that people really are that uneducated.

*I miss real Californians. There are poser-Californians here, people that just want to be Californians. There are so many girls that talk about "Cali" and wear Hollister sweatshirts that say California on them.. and yet they've never even been to California, let alone lived there!

*It's also so isolated here in R* (we have a Walmart and a Taco Bell), and I don't think it gets much better anywhere in Idaho. Sure, Idaho Falls has a little mall, but it's not like even my hometown. When my computer broke, there was no Mac store for more than 250 miles (in Salt Lake City or Boise!)... and my phone is breaking, and there isn't a AT&T store, either.

*I miss being able to go to San Francisco, the real "city." I've heard people talk about "the city" being Idaho Falls, which is roughly the size of Turlock.

*I miss the chicness of California, also. People are just... more cool... somehow. This one is hard for me to describe because it's subjective, in a way, but when you see everyone around you pretending they're from California, you know you're from the cooler state.

*Last of all, I think I miss the economy of California. I make 3.75 an hour, and most people here are really cheap when they tip. 8-10% is not acceptable in California.


Idaho isn't all bad, of course; I've made a few friends and school is going really well. But I miss California so much more than I ever thought I would! I miss my family (well, some of them:)), and I miss my friends. I miss Paul, and I miss being able to hang out with everyone. (There's nothing really to do here besides build igloos.) I miss the things that I had available, even if I didn't use, in California.

Finally, this song from Sixpence None the Richer describes my life near perfectly right now.

"A Million Parachutes":

Like a million parachutes the snow’s coming down
I’ll lock up the front door and turn the lights down
In the glow of the street lights, i see them descend
Like a million parachutes, small men on a mission

I miss the warm, i miss the sun
I miss the ocean, i miss everyone
I miss the bridges that span across the bay
Tonight it seems like ages ago

Like a million parachutes the snow still falls
The dogs are asleep now, there’s no one to call
I’ll put on some records and wait for the light
All those million parachutes, now a blanket of white

I miss the warm, i miss the sun
I miss the ocean, i miss everyone
I miss the bridges that span across the bay
Tonight it seems like ages ago